All the latest joys and disasters in the Banbury's bouncing beautiful household….
Here Shalome, The Scary, Startlingly Sharp, Spine-Chiller, and Mercy, The Menacing, Miraculously-Unmerciful Monster, reminisce their last destructive destruction.
Dear all wonderful and super people, How the wooping buckets of tidings of huge joy are you!!!!!!!!??????
I know right…long time, no see…not being at all technical.
My excuse this time has a ton to do with new beginnings, because fair maidens and dashing young gentlemen I have - crash- bang- wallop- STARTED MY FIRST FREAKING JOB!!!!!!!!! Talk about the EPICNESS involved!!!!!!! In case of people not knowing, EPIC is my word crush meaning it comes out whenever, whatever and whoever is EPIC!!!!!
(😍Love ya EPIC!!!!!) For all those people who can’t seem to survive without the details -I really really sympathise- the job takes place in Padstow. A place filled with rich, wealthy, luxurious, deluxe, unreasonable, absurd, ridiculous, preposterous folk, spending a lot of cash in the hopeless pursuit of trying to fill that joy bucket and in the process failing miserably, thus earning themselves a empty pocket, the knowledge that money is very sadly NOT inexhaustible and a heart full of many burdens desperately trying to ”turn back the clock,” and unsuccessfully win back that spondulicks. A word for money coming from the the Greek word "spondylikos" which comes from a a seashell that she sells down at the seashore, which was used as a currency in those ancient Greek times. This information is often known by bright, intelligent people, and I would be greatly concerned if you were not aware of these facts I have just so gracefully gifted you...
Anyhow, Anyway, --blah blee blah-- Another complete and utter AWESOME fact is that SUMMER IS ALLLLLLLLLMMMOOOSTTTTT HERE!!!!!!!
O my pickeld turds...THE SUN IS BACK!!!!! And my good lord and saviour have I missed it!!!
I mean don't get me wrong, cozy evenings, filled with endless bickering, wash baskets overflowing with muddy clothes and odd socks, freezing hands and the constant colds... what could possibly be wrong with that....errrrrhemmmmm...But low and behold days filled with the sun, sunburnt kiddos, mothers intent on this being "the year of the garden" and dads forcing you into child labour, what could possibly outdo that.....another long errrrrrrrhemmmmmm....
Anyway with those seeds of complete and utter truth sown I shall proceed, Christian the blue-eyed, button-nosed, rosy-cheeked, love of my life has taken a keen and most delightful hobby in the making and creating of the banana milkshake. This exquisite and excruciatingly awesome, delightfully wondrous milkshake is clearly the best milkshake in the county of Cornwall, -actually scrape that- the best in the whole "wonderful world" "with trees of green and roses too"!!!!! - WOAH...Armstrong I really love you.....I wish you all the best as you RIP- Low and behold the past is in the past -shout out to Elsa's great moment of revival- shout out actually to the whole of FROZEN which was so so sooo EPIC!!!! Followed afterward by the downright depressing FROZEN II....I mean SERIOUSLY!!!!!! Just don't me started on one of the most distressing, upsetting and heart-rending total lack of imagination which took place in FROZEN II!!!!! You, brainly people of THE Disney production, with A+ LEVELS and haughty airs and only God knows what qualifications! You, people of the world who have travelled, meet super cool and famous folk, and have intelligent roman noses!!! You, seriously could not come up with anything better then voices singing some spooky old song from some spooky old cave that seems to hold a load of old dead relatives frozen in ice... Yeah...I really really was totally disappointed... At any rate let me back to that low and behold...
Low and behold for all those who enjoy releasing the creatives juices of their complete and utter awesomeness and trying weird and totally wonderful new things. Feel free to try the, Booing, Bonking, Banana Shake Up....A completely uncomplicated and simple recipe...
1. How much banana do you like? Make up your mind and then throw a load of old brown/black-don't be racists- bananas into a blender, tip in some milk, a splash of vanilla, and VOLA!!!! Wow folks, that was EPIC!!!!!!!
I KNOW RIGHT LADIES...OH LA LA...SORRY BRO…
Soooooo drawing to a long awaited close!
Keep up the awesomeness folk! Keel over with EPICNESS!!!!!
And remember…Jonny Depp is not sure weather he’s gonna make pirates no. 5!
A stressful time for both him and me.