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  • Grace-Anne Banbury

Meet John & Faith…

Updated: Feb 10, 2022

I know scary pic….⬇️

For as long as I can possibly remember (keeping in mind I have the memory of a duck) John and Faith have been pains in my backside.

Shout out people I really kept my language to a U!!!!!!! And a capital one at that!

Anyway my dearest parents say that apparently John’s like me with the strong will and deep obstinacy, I personally disagree and so should you if you don’t want your houses set on fire.

(Or your computers blown up right in your faces, I’m still trying to figure out what would be more fun.)

Faith on the other hand is a brilliant shining star, leading us in prayer with her angelic face, another Joan Of Arc in the making.

O my goodness lets beat the bush.

Faith and John are both miserable pains that can’t get their heads around how great I am…………….

Also they seem to have deluded airs about themselves where they place themselves at her majesty’s feet (my mum) constantly complaining about the shortcomings of my good deeds…(Can someone please tell me what a good deed is)

Apart from slowly sucking the life from my body, they enjoy beating the living daylight out of any thing that contradicts them and making messes for her “loveliness” ( errrrhemmm) to clean up.

Yes, I am definitely a modern day Cinderella waiting for my pigheaded prince to pick me up.

Hey, does anyone else find Disney sexists.

I mean the only way for a girl to be happy is to go off with some chap.

It’s saddening for the poor old twits.————Sorry Disney lovers————My head on a platter will at your door tomorrow.————-Which is only a day away.

Removing myself from the clouds (despite the wonderful view) and actually getting down to grit despite the fact I hate the stuff….

John and Faith are actually really nice kiddos! But then they do have a tad of my genes.

John is mathematics wizard——speaking sarcastically. He’s got get by skills which is all we basically need, unless we want to be PhD, A+ level, pie in the sky freaks.——sorry its because I’m jealous.

John likes putting stuff together and your often him in the workshop turning it all upside down.

Much to my father’s delight.

Another one of his hobbies is being outside breathing in the fresh air and breathing out plain pollution.

He likes helping Father out on the farm through helping is cutting it tight.

No, really he can bed up turkeys, stock up the furnace to keep the chickens warm, feed the cows, open gates, forget to shut gates, and be a general smiling delight to all sheep, cows, calf’s, pigs, chickens and doggies.

Actually John does have a really nice smile and if I was to describe his looks I‘d call him a greek God of some sort. ( Rest assured I am NOT a creepy little old lady who’s husband dyed years ago, and who now sits wistfully at home, waiting for death with a terrible amount of unnecessary and unneeded doom, eyeing up young handsome men that pass by, but rather a person who just simply states the facts.)

A general summary of John (would make you run under the bed and never return to this blog) is that he’s a pretty great guy, getting ready to take on the world and shake it to it’s core.

My personal opinion (the one I’m always giving and also the one nobody pays attention to) is that John could be the next Billy Graham, IF he had more confidence (he’s definitely got the voice) so folks give him a good standing ovation!!!!!!!!! HE deserves it because at the mow I’ve got a crush on Freddy Mercury ( may he rest in piece dear old chap) which means lots of loud and room vibrating reruns of “ We are the champions” and ”the show must go on”.

And I sing along it it as well……. ……Love ya Bro…..thanks for ya patience….the little you have….

I’m actually not sure what’s more alarming John plotting the death of my speakers, or my parents plotting the death to all music apart from christian hymns.

And now with a heart heavy and full of grave misgivings I turn to Faith.

Faith is scary. Especially when she’s cross.

Let me repeat that ESPECIALLY when she’s cross.

Just to mention a few of the her scare tactics is showing you her teeth no.7,

and then using them on you no.8, hitting you in places that make your knees give out no.5, rummaging your palace and stealing your gold, even the stuff on top the wardrobe no. 6.

And I’m not even going to give you the rest because I‘m sure everyone here values a good night sleep.

Her scowl however is something that freezes you in place utterly unable to move.

This pic was taken at a good time⬆️ She was gazing at her lastest victim

In all reality (despite the fact it sucks and I try to stay as far away from it as possible)

Faith is a lot like Bruce Banner, the one and only Incredible Hulk.

Shes just a lot more green and in angry, hulky mood, most of the time and not nearly as hot.

I mean common he DID have a awesome six pack, could have been a twelve but I ran of fingers.

Before however I get cremated by her mellow mouth, or frozen with her soft scowl I’d better bring out the charm. ( Might be kinda rusty because I haven’t used it for a while.)

Faith’s a indoor girl and a bit of a gamer. ( NOT THAT WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!) The computer game way.

She’s learning to type, can count to a thousand and is taller then John. Much to my dearest brother‘s terror and dismay.

She has five guinea pigs, and she had two rabbits but one died from a rabbit heart attack.

Something rabbits are very partial too. Through a theory of mine is that Faith frowned at it.

Faith is quick and she enjoys playing board games, in fact, at this very moment in time, John and Faith are having a full blown fist fight over who’s been stealing who’s Monopoly money.

Of which I’m going to spare you the details.

Faith also has a cat called Rolo (as in love your last Rolo) who I swear to God has travelled the world at least 7 times. He just has that look.

She likes DM’s and furry coats.

All in all Faith is a great girl!

I love her to bits and even through my life expectancy is shorter with her around I would rather live it with her then without her.

……And even if this is costing me a arm and a leg… ya sis……

John and Faith are stars, both of them!

In fact without them shining brightly I most likely would not be writing this rubbish/crazy ramblings. So even if you do annoy me on a regular basis and even if we do fly at each other more then we hug each other, I honest to Santa Claus would not want to be without you.

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