Updated: Mar 18
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Today I present to you the one and only Miss Roseanna Joy Jane Kitty Banbury!
Roseanna is most at home with her animals and the beautiful countryside that surrounds us in Cornwall.
With her dog Buddy who is some kind of werid and all wonderful mixed breed, Roseanna would quite happily spend all day and most of all night outside.
Living with a family of twelve can do that to you.
She’s a tough cookie and can keep a secret which does annoy me greatly because I can’t which means she’s got more to keep.
Her favourite colour is blue and she prefers long hair to short.
She plans to marry some beautiful handsome muscular masculine man one day and I have self appointed myself as chief wedding planner and head bridesmaid.
Just know that if anyone disagrees with me heads will be rolling.
She can cook the most delicious Victoria Sponge around AND clean up afterwards (something else I can’t do very well.)
Discipline and self control is also something she has somehow, somewhere, somewhat, managed to master which is also something far beyond me.
Rising at the crack of dawn which just so happens to be 5:00 SHARP(it was 4:00 but after some dramatic, out of control teenage hormones, she was kinda banned.(Cross out the kinda.)
How she manages that is something I WILL NEVER EVER COMPREHEND.
I mean common a girl needs her beauty sleep. Her favourite animal is horses.
And she was gifted, might I just add it was ON MY BIRTHDAY, (TALKE ABOUT UNFAIR) her very own pony, a fourteen hand, sixteen year old, Dartmoor, called Porkee, who yes does live up to his name, and no doesn’t run about at a neck breaking speed.
Also she has two pigs, one by the name of Sausages, and the other by the name of Bacon.
Named according to their fate.
Roseanna is the mature one out of all of us.
She can reasonably keep her cool when the town is being painted green or when house is burning down.
Actually thinking about painting a town green doesn’t sound to bad.
And not only that but Roseanna can hop on one leg, rub her stomach and pat her head all at the same time.
But crazily crunching all that Roseanna can sing!
Just like everyone else Roseanna can sing but unlike everyone else she can actually sound good.
And not everyone or anyone can do do that.
A braying donkey comes to mind.
She sounds just like another Kathrine Jenkins, being able to reach those HIGH NOTES, much to my dismay because I sound like a dying frog, and that’s at the best of times.
Another superhuman musical talent she secretly processes is playing the guitar.
And even through she only gets it out once a blue moon ( to perform she practices loads) she will never fail to impress you.
School is one of those things she comes to naturally but not quickly.
And much to my horror she actually seems to ENJOY IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Talk about scary🤯.
She doesn’t like her birthday and isn’t a fan of surprises.
Another mind blowing thing I almost forgot and will never ever ever encompass is how she manages to work out everyday.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!!!!! Everyday at 7:00 on the dot Roseannna plugs in the music and gets out her fitness app and will do bendy stretchy things that make your knees shake and your armpits honk!( honk is a word we use for a very horrendous smell)
I am her best friend for ever and ever!
So everyone get out the red carpet if I decide to grace you with my wondrous presence.
AND WITH A GRAND FLOURISHING FINISH……
EVERYONE PLAESE STAND AND GIVE MY DEAREST OF SISTERS A DEFENDING APPLAUSE.
P.S SHE IS NOT IN PAIN (IN THE ABOVE PIC) but actually mid laugh❤️